TSS: Dear Mom, I still find you in little places

I originally posted this piece two years ago and wanted to re-post as much as a letter to my mother as a reminder to myself about keeping her memory vibrant. 

Mom, I Still Find You In Little Places

Dear Mom:

It has been almost 10 years since you died, but I still find you in unexpected places.


I find you in the soap products I still use because you used them.

I find you every time I hear ANY song from Fiddler on the Roof because you played that 8-Track tape until it broke.

I find you in the lines on my face, which is starting to show glimpses of you in your 40s.

I find you in the little ways I protect my children; and though I haven't sewn them neon orange coats to wear to school so all the cars will see them - I now know that coat was stitched from a mother's love.

I find you in that old AM radio station when it plays The Entertainer.

I find you in slim, green glass iced-cold Coca-Cola bottles.

I find you in my brand new interest in knowing the actual names of flowers.

I find you when I make my kids Kool-Aid and I let them stir.

I find you when an older mom gives me a tip on how to keep your kid from getting lice at school only to think back, "Hey, my mom did that when I was little" and I never knew why. Now I do.

I find you when I discover a curious fact and squirrel it away in a notebook and everyone wonders why.

I find you in my recent need to have a magnifying glass handy.

I find you in cantaloupe even though I LOATHE it due to that bumper crop you grew in our backyard and all there was to eat FOREVER was canteloupe; but my daughters love it like candy, so I buy it.

I find you in the Mother's Day cards I get from my daughters and wish I sent you one every year. If you were here, I would tell you that it is only through the lens of being a mother myself that I see and know and feel all that you did.

Keep showing up in little places and I'll keep looking.

Love,

K

My mom (right) with her sister in 1959.